Make 'em Laugh

I graduated.

Yes. It happened. I wrote an awfully long thesis on macrocyclic ligands and barely passed my linear algebra class. But those were only the toughest aspects of the last month of my time at Furman academically. There were plenty of other hurdles that I leaped. The list of "lasts" seemed never-ending: From big things like my last performance on Furman Theatre's stage & my last show as a member of Improv!able Cause to every-student type things like my last day of class & my last exam to seemingly simple things like the last time I'll eat in the DH & the last time I'll check my on campus mail. I barely made it off of the stage before I began to cry after the last time I delivered my monologue "French Fries" during Talking With... The finality of it had really hit me. But what made it hit so hard?

I loved working with Furman Theatre. That company (and yes, especially my senior year, it was a company) was so much fun to work with. We made some great theatre and some not as great theatre, but I always had an amazing time and learned so much no matter what. I think the gravity of not being able to share my joy with other people in such a palpable, concrete, and consistant way was something that really hit me as I left the stage that night. I had grown to thrive on making people laugh and making people think. I must continue doing that. It is where my passion lies. I know that now thanks to Furman Theatre.

A little less than an hour after I walked across the stage to shake hands with Dr. Shi and recieve my diploma (after he told me he loved my red hair in an attempt to personalize what he said to each student) after bidding my family adieu until the next morning, I was jumping around in the football stadium saying ridiculous things in different voices that had the people around me laughing. I wasn't trying to be the comedic relief, but in my own state of not being able to fully comprehend and take in what had just occured I went into this inadvertent make-everyone-else-more-comfortable-because- they-don't-know-what-to-do-either mode. It continued through going back to my apartment for a toast and some snacks with my roommates and their families. At that point the parents were cracking up, too.

After a sad hiatus of saying some last goodbyes and experiencing my last night at Furman, the mood returned the next afternoon when I was moving out. I even wore a hard hat for the entirety of packing. At some point that afternoon, one of my best comedic partners and biggest fans, Patty (my roommate Jacqui's crazy mother), stopped me in our hallway to tell me she was about to get very philosophical.

"Do you see this joy we're sharing? You and I? This laugher? These jokes?" she asked.
"Sure I do, Patty. I love it."
"You have to keep doing this. You have to keep sharing this joy. You go up to Chicago or wherever and keep sharing this joy with people. Because some people don't have this. Give it to them."
"You got it. I'll do it."

No one had ever really put it to me like that before. I want to share my joy. I want to bring that relief to people. Despite some tears and struggle with being separated from my friends who I'd gotten so used to seeing every day, I have spent the last few days coping and cheering myself by watching TV comedies (Modern Family, SNL, Parks and Recreation, 30 Rock etc.) It seems simple and silly, but that's what I want. Maybe not through a TV show, but somehow. I want to share my joy.